Looking forward -> 2015

Hi love. Rindu nak tulis, tapi entah kenapa rasa busy sgt lately. 

Hey, one more day to 2015.  Weee! Am really looking forward to 2015. So many things i wanna do. Too many in my to-do-list. Hehe. But not to forget, 2014 has been so kind to me. So many happy moments for me. I led my life on my own without the other part influenced my life. I got to know myself even better. Though I keep the distraction mode still going, but deep down I still remember who I really am.

Well, my biggest achievement for 2014 is, I owned a crib. Alhamdulillah, I got to buy the house on my own. So now, I have to find someone who would willingly paying the loan on behalf of me. Haha LOL.

Other than that, my family getting even bigger now, with the addition of Karl and Hani in the house. It's just that Mak and Ayah's health is currently in not-so-good condition. Let's pray for their great health ok people? 

Friends. Plenty now. Rakafakah? Still my bestest friends since forever. Love?  Not yet. Still enjoying the single life. But happy to get to know D :)

2015. Can't wait. 

Happy New Year guys!! Mmmuuaahh ciked :*

P/S: Today is Mak's birthday! I love u Mak! Have a blast one!

Mixed Feelings

It's been awhile. So busy with the work tasks, coping with personal matters. Kuatkan hati nak teruskan hidup. Tak sedar dah almost a year. Mm I miss my good friends. Not that i tried to keep the distance. Not that I have some new friends. But I do have my own reasons. I let everything go, but the marks were still there. And I hate them so much.

Yasmeen and Luth are always the remedy. Yasmeen always being the talkative young girl, while Luth with his cute acts. Both of them are bright kids. Hehe just thinking of them, makes me smile. Acu loves you both. Thanks for your existence. :)

P/S: Congratulations in advanced. May u guys be blessed.

Wish

Awal Muharram is here again. A new year for Muslim. My prayer for a better year ahead. I have let go of everything. I just want a happy life. That last long.

Happy new year kawan2. Have a great weekend. I love u.

Blog Life

Someone asked me to keep on writing my blog. Tapi nak tulis ape ntah. I tak tau sangat pasal isu semasa coz i rarely read the newspaper, tgk berita or baca fake news kat Facebook. Nak gosip pasal retis, pegi tgk Beautiful Nara jelah. Nak cerita pasal fashion, lifestyle semua tu, macam tak reti.

Mcm hari ni, nak cerita apa? Pegi kerja, balik kerja. Malam kalau ada masa melepak ngan kawan2. Pastu pagi susah gila nak bangun. Masa balik kg raya hari tu, Iki asyik mara sbb Acu sound diorg bangun lambat, tapi sebenarnya tiap2 ari Acu dia yg bangun lambat. Sampai Iki kena lompat atas katil, baru Acu nak bangun. Acu cakap Acu dh lama bangun tapi saje je baring2, dia sound Acu, tak baik tipu. Sabar k.

Well, my life is upside down rite now. So dlm blog ni, mmg banyak akan cerita pasal myself. Tak banyak org nak baca pun. So me being happy, being sad, semua ada dlm ni. Tapi selalunya yang happy2, tak cerita pun, banyak cerita yg sedih2 je sebab tak boleh nak cerita kat sapa2. Tak pandai pulak nak cerita kat org. Haha. So kalau get annoyed tu, takyahla baca. Senang.

Oklah nak balik. Penat pulak hari ni. Nak jumpa Meen and Luth. Smlm tak sempat jumpa. Rindu.

K bai.

Qurban

" The sun loved the moon so much.

       He died every night to let her breathe"

                                 -Pure sacrificed-

Wishing u guys a wonderful Eid ul Adha. 

May God grant all your dreams and Doa for all  'qurban' you have made.

Mine - my abrupt and strong desires to set my feet in Mecca. I hope so.

Enjoy the holiday geng! Love n miss u people. Mmuuaahh ciked. 

Counting days.

Go ahead. It's almost one week. 

Thanks.

Tunggu apenye

But i hate people nowadays. 

Stop doing this to me.

Haih.

2 to 3

2 hari lepas umur dah cecah 30 tahun.

Seronok sebab ramai yang ingat.

Org kata, when u lose one people in your life, there will be more to come. Yes, thank God sebab hadiahkan saya family yang sgt supportive, kawan2 yang sangat2 appreciate me for who i am, and also kawan2 yang tak pernah saya kenal sebelum ni, tapi sangat appreciate every friendship. Thanks for each of the surprised! I am flattered!

What should i do next? Mak cakap dah dahla having fun, fikir future. But actually I was not having fun, I am distracting my life. Rebel. Macam budak budak. Stupid. Ari tu kena mara dgn someone. Remind me to grow up. Ok. Should start new now. Got some plans in my head. Just pray for the best okay.

Yours truly,

Jazilah Othman

30 yrs old

Patience

Too many test for my family and I in this beautiful month of Ramadhan..
Give me the strength and patience dear God the most Merciful..
At one point, it's unbearable..
Doakan saya dan family..

Creepy

Semalam sampai lambat kat umah. Lebih kurang 1230am. Sampai2 je tgk semua org macam dah tido. Walaupun lampu hall still terbukak. So terus pergi mandi. Masa mandi dengar macam orang ketuk pintu bilik air I tu tapi I rasa maybe my sister si Ina ke dah bangun and tutup pintu bilik dia ke. Then takpelah. Mandi je.

Dah abis mandi, masuk bilik and tutup pintu. Tak lama lepas tu. Dengar org ketuk pintu tapi slow jeeee. Tiba2 rasa ada goosebumps. Huhahuhahu. I buat tatau je mula2 tu. Sebab ingatkan macam salah dengar ke, imagination I je ke. Tapi lama2 mcm lagi clear bunyi pintu tu and I pun memberanikan diri bukak pintu. Bila bukak pintu....

"Acuuuuuuuu" sambil tersenyum and pegang bantal busuk, si Yasmeen rupanya.

Kuang asam punya budak. Org lain dah tido, rupa2nye dia tak tido lagi. 

Pastu I terus tergelak sorg2 tatau kenapa. Eh. Bulan puasa mana ada benda2 creepy ni kan?

Oklah. Tiba2 ada gossebumps balik.

Ok bye.

P/S: Selamat ber Ramadan. Jangan ponteng puasa, awak dah besar.

Sebelas

"... And the night is takin' over

And the moonlight gets exposure

And the players has been chosen

And it seems like fate has spoken

When it seems your faith is broken

By the second, losin' focus

Ain't no way to get off, get off, get off, get off

Unless you move forward

I bet they wonder how I go on

I bet they wonder how I go on
I bet they wonder how I go on

I'll simply say it's on again, it's on again

The world don't stop, its on again, it's on again.."

Yes. I am a lonely fighter. Trying to win my own battles.
But I do not hate you. Thanks for giving us some precious lessons in life.
11 years today. Should be. Well.
I miss you but I'm moving on.
And for friends who read this, plz pray for my heart.
It's currently, still, tightly shut.

K. Bye.

XOXO

Bali is my lifee!

Don't get annoyed with the post title.

Yes. Bali.

Tiket dibeli like one year ago and at last dapat jugak pergi. Though ada sorg tu tak pergi. Takpelah. I'm ok.

Ok ni summary je, sebab malas nak tulis panjang2 hehe.

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Travel period: 23rd April 2014 - 27th April 2014.
Villa : Kubu Pratiwi -Superb! Recommended! Balik jalan2, boleh terus terjun pool!
Driver : Pak Sono & Ali
Rakarians :Adib, Popo, Farah, Effa, Bulu, Jen, Kak Bee, Che Nab, Kak Cik, Pac, Yours Truly.


1) Kintamani 

Sepatutnye before pergi Kintamani, tgk Barongan dulu tapi tak sempat. Otw pegi Kintamani singgah tempat buat kopi luwak. Jumpa musang comel. Macam2 kopi ada kat sini kitorg try. Pac muntah minum one shot ginger coffee. Haha.

Dalam van pegi Kintamani, kitorg main game, 'Siapa tido, kena keluar dari van'. Haha atau pun sebenarnya di mainkan oleh org2 yang tak tido. It was fun indeed. Sampai je kat Kintamani, hujan lebat. So makan dalam hujan and sejuk. Tak nampak apa apa sebab kabus tebal gila. Lepas pergi Kintamani, singgah dekat this one gallery and also a temple. Tak ingat dah ape nama dia. But respect to the bloody art skills that the locals have.

2) Ubud

Singgah tengok sawah padi. Tapi tak turun kat sawah pun sebab baru lepas hujan and sangat lecak. Budak2 ni sukati je tangkap gambar ngan pakcik keje kat sawah tu tanpa berbayar, dah pakcik tu merajuk tak nak tangkap gambar dengan Che Nab. Haha. Dan di sini jugaklah, first time tengok souvenier yang ntahpapentah. U guys get what i mean kann hahahha kelakaaa.

3) Kuta Beach 

What do u expect I buat kat beach tengah2 panas ni? Surfing? Mandi laut? Haha none of that. Just lepak, amik gambar, tengok org tak pakai baju, pastu makan Mc Donald. Seronok dapat aircond. Dekat sini, the main attraction  is actually Pac/Naquib, sebab semua orang kagum dengan braided hairstyles dia.

4) Padang padang beach

Kat padang-padang ni ke yang ada tunnel kecik before sampai beach tu ek?? I guess so. So tak turun sampai beach sebab claustrophobic. Kelas. Hehe. Kat sini pun kejap je. Sebab nak pegi kejar kecak dance.

 

4) Uluwatu

Tgk kecak dance kat sini. Jumpa naib canselor uitm. Haha bengong. Cantik dekat sini sbb masa sunset. Tapi benci sebab banyak monyet! Huhu. Rakarians yg naik lagi satu van masa ni tak ikut, sebab Saif tak digalakkan join huhu. So they went to fetch Kak Bee at the airport.

5) Jimbaran

Seafood time! Weee! Makan banyak. Glad that most of my favorite people was there. Wish i can come to this place again. Boleh mkn byk lagi. Weeee.

 

6) Tanah Lot

Rushing nak ke Tanah Lot ni, sebab singgah pergi massage kaki and shopping kat Hard Rock. Sempat la amik gambar sunset sekejap pastu shopping je kat situ.

7) Krisna
Tempat favorite Kak Cik. Hehe. Dua kali uolss pegi sini. Dua kali jugak duit habis. Sampai kena pinjam duit kat kak yong Falah. Senang, souvenier semua beli kat sini je, tak payah jalan tempat lain.

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Ok, tu je tempat2 yang teringat. Well, this is perhaps the most exciting vacation I have with Rakarians, but ya, I apologize for whatever had happened. My bad :(

Despite that, thanks guys for the memories. Already missed Bali a lot. Hehe. Let's make some more okay! Much love for you guys!

*Photo credits to the Rakarians.

Pool!

Mine

Mine too. Hehe

Weeee!

 

Bibik buat breakfast

Coffee

Ubud

Ladies

 

Joghen

 

Gegurls. Err with Saif.

The clans

 

Kuta

Teh Botol Session. Tak sedap.

Beachwalk at Kuta

Gegurls with Adibyss

Dinner time! nyum nyum!

Sedap tak bau perfume tu kak cik? hihi

Lupa la nama beach ni huhu

Kuta

Uluwatu

Jaz go Jazzercise

It's the second month of my Jazzercise class. I did not know this kind of workout/excercise/dance or whatever you want to call it, exist. Until my colleague asked me whether i am interested to follow her to the trial class. At first, I was a bit hesitated since i already joined the zumba class at the office. Haha. Macam kelakar tiba2 jadi excercise freak.

Ok, I went to the trial class and hey, it was fun! I thought they were gonna use only jazz song as the workout music. But it was not! The music they played is the latest one! Katy Perry, Pitbull, Pharrel Williams, Beyonce, and some that I don't even know who's the singer. The crowd were very friendly and the instructor was much helpful as it's my first class. Err so i stumbled a lot. Haha.

So this is a bit description of Jazzercise, mm ok copied from the website. Haha.

"The original aerobic exercise class, Jazzercise, combines dance, strength training, yoga, Pilates, and kickboxing movements into one fun and effective total body workout. The mix of Latin, hip hop and jazz dance movements make Jazzercise feel more like a girl’s night out than a workout!

Wildly imitated but never duplicated, routines are choreographed to current hits by major recording artists. With its fresh moves, new music and pure motivation, no other fitness program comes close."
 

It's a non-stop workout for one hour. Tapi sempat la lari pegi minum air, kalau tak, rasenye boleh dehydrate and rasa nak pengsan. Tiap2 hari ada class, but depends nak pegi bila, The package that I paid for is unlimited. So far baru berapa kali je tak pergi.

Now I'm continuing the class. Just because it was fun and I need it to make me feel happier. Plus I have a lot of free time now. Hehe. For further details about this Jazzercise class, please use Mr Google people.

Loss

In 2013, I lost a few important people in my life. My cousin, makcik, nenek saudara, my love. Setiap satu yang hilang tu, tinggalkan kesan yang sangat2 dalam. The people left without any alarm, any hints. And the feelings were different for each. Part of the pain, kills the soul. My life became numb.

Then, I trained myself to be strong. Cuma, perhaps not strong enough. Sometimes, i felt lost. I did not know which way to go. I felt alone though I am surrounded by people that I love. My evil part of the brain, sometimes tell me to stop giving hope on life. But I know it's not worth it.

So, apa yang boleh dibuat, terus berharap, doa, tawakal agar ada something yang lebih baik in the near future. How near it is, hard to say. Just put my trust in God the Most merciful. I am not perfect, I know. God may not be granted all my wish, but at least He can ease the pain.

For those who lost their families and friends in MH370 tragedy, i wish they can be strong. I understand that their loss was definitely much more devastating than what I've been going through, and till now kita semua harapkan miracles to happen. Ya, I too harapkan yang sama dalam hidup. Whatever it was and will be, just believe that God knows the best. This is the test that we cannot avoid. I must honestly confess that I am still not fully moving on. But, still alive and able to laugh at this point of time, is a great achievement, at least for me.

It's ok to mourn, but life must go on. Stay strong and lift your heads up people.  Love is all around us. Take care.

Out

"I'm comin' up so you better get this party started
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started
Get this party started"

-Pink-

Wait for me.  I'll be out real soon.

Kit Kat

Hi

It's never your fault.
Do not blame yourself. 
Just nak take a break sekejap je.
Rasa penat sangat sangat.
Need to find the 'joghenness' back :)

I'll be back soon.
Don't worry ok.
Luv u all mucho!

Cranky lil' munchkin

Tiba2 teringat Yasmeen cranky malam tadi.

Malam tadi, kita satu family pergi rumah abang to celebrate Daleena's birthday.
Masa nak balik tu, Yasmeen menangis sebab nak ikut Atok dengan Wan dia balik kampung.
Tapi tak dapat ikot pun.

So her mummy asked her whether she wants to ride my car or his papa's.
Being cranky, dia pun nak naik kereta i tapi taknak pakai carseat. Ok.
We gave her option. Pakai seatbelt kalau taknak carseat. Tu pun dia taknak.
So papa dia malas nak layan, angkat dia bawak masuk kerete diorg.

On the way back, Yasmeen called me, sambil nangis ajak i singgah 7-eleven depan rumah.
Rupa rupanya, dalam kereta tu dia dah diam dah.
Lepas tu, dia pusing belakang, dia nampak kereta i follow kereta papa dia.
Ape lagi, start menangis balik sebab nak naik kereta i pulak. Hish budak ni.

So i follow lah pegi 7-eleven. I tak turun. Yasmeen ikut papa dia turun.
They asked me if i want anything, and I said i taknak apa2.

Lepas pergi kedai, Yasmeen hop into my car and I asked her.

Acu:"Yasmeen, what did u buy? Kenapa tak beli untuk acu?"
Yasmeen: "Kan tadi acu cakap acu tak nak apa apa".

Ok fine.

And she said that very clear. Dia tak pelat. Haha.

Sampai kat parking rumah, i tanya Yasmeen lagi sekali.

Acu: " Ala, kenapa Yasmeen tak beli apa-apa untuk acu kat kedai tadi? Kesian acu."
Yasmeen: " Dah, dah, tak payah pergi kedai lagi. Meen nak tido".

Sabar je la budak ni tau.

Twinkle my little star

*************************************

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky. 

When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night. 

Then the traveler in the dark,
Thanks you for your tiny spark,
He could not see which way to go,
If you did not twinkle so. 

In the dark blue sky you keep,
And often through my curtains peep,
For you never shut your eye,
Till the sun is in the sky. 

As your bright and tiny spark,
Lights the traveler in the dark.
Though I know not what you are,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star. 

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky. 

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
How I wonder what you are.
How I wonder what you are. 

*************************************

Where are you my little star? Light up plz.. I still can't find the way...

Let's Start.. Again..

Yes. I think it's official now.
I feel very bad but i know that i must do it.
And I did.

For 10 years, I keep on falling in love with the same person that made me put my trust on him that he'll be the one.
Along the way, I've been betrayed a lot of times but I choose not to blame anyone.
It was my choice to still choose you.
We've been together for so long and I never stop counting.
We grew up, we lived our life, we learned together until we have what we have now.
I've always tried my best to make us happy.
But it was just I, not us.
Everything seems not enough.
The path has differed too much.

I am extremely exhausted.

I was left alone though i do not want to.
So i decided to pull myself out of the game.

 

It hurts me so deep to think that I'm gonna miss my 10 years old family so much.

Just to see they shed the tears, makes my heart completely breaks.
Thank you dear family for your concerns, love and kindness throughout the years.
Sorry for all the mistakes and scars i brought to all of you.

Each of you will always be in my prayers. And my heart.

And to dear you, thanks for all the happiness you brought into my life.

The memories are too good to forget.

I choose to keep them.
You are the most beautiful yet most painful thing that ever happened in my life.

I too made mistakes and I am truly sorry for the hurts.

I will dearly miss you and your presence around me.

And I will always love you more than you know.

I've fulfilll my promise and now I want you to be happy.

I know you are more than happy.

Dear God, please shower these people with happiness.
They deserve better.

As for me, I am struggling to move on.
It's gonna be so hard on me. 

The teardrops are not that easy to stop.
But I believe in my own strength and my faith in God.
My own family and friends are always my anchor.

I wish, no matter how much people has wronged us, do not keep the hatred in us.

Do forgive as it will makes us at least at peace.

Please pray for my speed recovery.

Also pray that everything will be better for him.

Thanks guys for the endless supports.

I love u all so much.

I am a big girl now.
I will go through this slowly and start to build myself up again.
I'll be just fine. 

Let's start all over again.

Farewell 2013

Thank you 2013 for the remarkable memories.
You will be missed.

Hello 2014.
I pray for everything to be just fine for me and the people i loved.
Plz do not let me feel hurt again.

Enjoy the holiday. I love u all peeps.